Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
