So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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