Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
