Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
