I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Randomize
