redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
