my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
