i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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