Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
