I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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