Got a toothbrush?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
