the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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