Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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