8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize