Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize