dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
