these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I FOUND THE LEGS
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
