so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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