Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
