YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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