dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
