roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize