there was a trapeze. enough said
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
