i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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