i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
