and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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