Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
