"it" just moved
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize