Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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