she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
