Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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