mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
