We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
