Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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