No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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