it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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