Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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