yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
