Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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