Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
