I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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