I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
