Having a random hookup so left but love u
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
