You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize