The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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