I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
