We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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