so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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