I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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