the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize