i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
