Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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