"it" just moved
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
