yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
