New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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