I need help removing her.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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