Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
