Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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