I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
