Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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