you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
