Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
