apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
pray to the hookup gods
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize