I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
