College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
