I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
