Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
3 2 1 whiskey
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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