I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
