A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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