so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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