i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
